Night Life

People go out at night and get drunk and dance and have a great time.  This is an essential truth that happens worldwide nightly.  The night makes it seem like someone can escape from the life of the day and become a new, risk-taking, care-free person without a care in the world.  Many go out in order to socialize with their friends and meet new people and embrace this sexy person they can become in the dim lights and loud music.
The night begins by taking forever to actually leave and then arriving fashionably late.  This is achieved in different ways for guys and gals.  The ladies of course change clothes about fifty times while getting progressively more intoxicated and excited in a blur of eyeliner, mascara, flat irons, and hairspray.  The make up is heavy and so is the perfume.  The hair is big and the outfits are small.  The men, well, who knows what they do really?  Finally, everyone piles into the car in order to reach the destination which will probably evolve into another destination and some of your friends will probably lose articles of clothing, wallets, purses, I.D.s, keys, cell phones, and more.  The night is filled with excitement and wonder and mistakes and eventually everyone goes home or, most likely, falls asleep.
Its fun right?  Exciting.  Sometimes full of drama but always different and one night is never the same as the night before.  There are never the same people or even the same venues.  Going out is an adventure.
  Nowadays though I have lost my need to go out and desperately crave attention.  That is what night life is about right?  The attention from the cute guys and the girls that want to be you.  Whenever you are in a good, meaningful relationship though that need for attention goes away.  You only want to look good for the one who matters.  I am not saying don't go out with your friends and have fun I am just saying that you know the whole night who you are missing.  You know how much you don't want attention from the guys, you just want attention from him.
And when that one person isn't there sometimes you find yourself question why you even bothered being there yourself.

Maybe you don't agree with me or maybe you don't understand but I hope for your sake you do someday and you have that person you would rather be with than anywhere else.

Dreams for the Future

Dreams for the Future/Bucket List

1. Aggie Ring
2. "Mug down" at Midnight Yell
3. Walk under the Century Tree with the one
4. Visit Alaska/Ride in a dog sled 
5. Go to a horse race 
6. Ride horses on the beach 
7. Learn to think in French 
8. Keep a good GPA throughout college and possibly get my masters 
9. Figure out what I want to do with my life and then find a career I am passionate about.  
10. The perfect surprise proposal that completely takes me off guard at which point he says the words "(my name), will you marry me?" and maybe some sweet words leading up to it.  
11. Travel to Rome and Ireland and hopefully Greece
12. A lovely wedding (of course)
13. Live in a lovely two story house with a wrap-around porch in the middle of the country with lots of land and animals and the big open Texas sky, a place for my children to grow up
14. Remain close to my family and God 
15. Always remember to realize that happiness can come from anywhere no matter where life goes 
16. Love with an abandon that lasts for a lifetime. 

Rain

There is some sort of overwhelming peace that comes from watching the rain or hearing it.  Some may disagree, especially those who are attempting to drive somewhere or are stuck in Wal-Mart waiting for the rain to let up enough to possibly make it to the car without completely soaking the groceries.   Nonetheless,whenever a person has a moment to sit quietly and breathe for a moment there is a peace that courses through the body and possible the soul.  Thunderstorms are a different matter entirely.  It is as if there are two people in the world; those who love thunderstorms and those who hate them, but that is a different story.  The purpose here is simply rain.

"He will come to us like the showers, like the spring rains that water the earth."  Hosea 6:3

I believe this peace that everything in the world will somehow perhaps be okay again comes from this:  God is in the rain.   People experience this phenomenon differently.  To those who are sad the rain sympathizes.  It is like the Earth is also experiences the emotional upheaval that is ravaging the individual.  The gray skies cry with you as the Earth suffers your loss.  To those who are happy, the rain does not bring sadness.  Instead, it is as if the Earth is simply cleansing itself and when the skies clear everything will be bright and new.  For both, the world is purging herself in order to get rid of the day to day ick and dirt that has collected in all of the crevices.  Just as a person feels cleansed after a long cry the Earth feels after a rain.
Moreover, rain brings nourishment to the plants that scatter the Earth and the crops that feed the people.  Rain brings water to those who are thirsty and hope to those who are almost lost.
Rain brings new life and new perspective.  Next time you have a minute watch the rain and hear its pattering on the roof.  Sit on the porch and watch the dirt wash away.  Breathe in the lovely smell of rain.  Maybe even go dance in the rain or have a mud fight.  Splash in all the puddles and rejoice in the day.  (Its not like you can do any yard/field work anyways) God is in the rain.  He will be there in the storm and when the sun shines again.  The sun will shine again.

Star Quotes

"I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night." -Galileo

"Trust your heart if the seas catch fire (and live by love though the stars walk backwards)"

-E.E. Cummings 

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." -Shakespeare

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you." -Coldplay

"May you touch dragonflies and stars, dance with fairies, and talk to the moon."
 -Anonymous 

"Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar; but never doubt I love." -Shakespeare

"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded, and the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand, it really is the most poetic thing about physics; you are all stardust."

-Lawrence Krauss

"When you wish upon a star your dreams will come true."

"The stars at night are big and bright deep in the heart of Texas"

"Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human?  Do the stars gaze back?  Now that's a question."
-Stardust

"Be humble for you are made of earth, 

Be noble for you are made of stars." 

Missing You

"I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal." 

-Vita Sackville-West 

"You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, like you'll not only miss the people you love, but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and place because you'll never be this way ever again." 

"Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you have seen them or the amount of time since you've talked.  It's about that very moment when you're doing something and wishing they were right there with you." 

"Tu me manques"

"Love reckons hours for months and days for years
and every little absence is an age."
-John Dryden 

"A song can take you back instantly to a moment, a place, or even a person.  No matter what else has changed in you or in the world, that one song stays the same, just like that moment.  Which is pretty amazing, when you actually think about it."  -Sarah Dessen 

"The scariest thing about distance is you don't know whether they'll miss you or forget about you."

-Nicholas Sparks 

"Funny how a melody sounds like a memory, like a soundtrack to a July Saturday night."

-Springsteen by Eric Church

"Oh these times are hard and they're making us crazy, don't give up on me baby"
-For the First Time by the Script

Miss me terribly, 

Think of me often, 

And know no matter where you are,

You always carry a piece of my heart.

The Re-emergence of Stress

 "It simply isn't an adventure worth telling if there aren't any dragons."

-J.R.R. Tolkien

Stress is such a elusive and yet prominent factor of life.  I would like to think that as a person got older the amount of stress they were under decreased but in fact, I believe that a person merely learns to deal with the stress in certain aspects of life but is forever encountering new causations.
The fact of the matter is stress is intense emotional and mental turmoil over an event or situation that is not entirely within one's control.  Of course there are millions of articles and products and methods to relive stress but when it comes down to it, stress may only be dealt with by the individual.  A person can determine what to be stressed about and what to simply let happen.  However, this is easier said than done.
Stress is a complicated issue that is experienced differently for each person in different ways.
I am one to be easily stressed out over matters that should probably not concern me as much as they do.  Growing up, I would become so nervous before performing for judges and just people in general, rather it be playing the piano or the flute, dancing, or singing.  As I got older my nervousness was easier to contain and less to deal with.  I am proud to say I have less stress going into performances, public speaking, and major tests than ever before.
Nonetheless, I still become stressed out by new situations rather casual or professional.  I worry about matters that do not need to be fussed over and will play out in time.  I am a person who generally has a plan about the events in the day, the week, the month, and so forth.  I have a planner and whenever I make a plan rather it be formal obligation or simply a design on how my time that day will be spent I like to stick to it.  I like times and organization and scheduling.  I am very much like my mother in these ways.  She was always there for me growing up and taught me how to breathe and just do my best.  She was always told me straight what she thought which helped me to grow but in the same way she was very supportive.
Nevertheless, someone came into my life about five months ago who is pretty much the opposite of me in this manner.  This person does not stress the small things and does not make plans or set time limits on situations.  Of course, this individual is very dependable and does what has been promised on time every time.  Regardless this person has the ability to calm me down and realize what is important and when simply to go with the flow. They showed me a new way of thinking and I showed them mine (which I pretty sure caused them stress too but only because they cared).   I did not realize what an impact this individual was making until they were not here everyday with me.  Although just a phone call away, it is not the same.  You know who you are.  I just wanted to say thank you.  You always have the capability to calm me down and I hope to see you soon.
Now I have to deal with issues and new situations alone again and it seems like I have almost forgotten how. Its a hard thing to grow up and be dependent on yourself to wash clothes and remember to eat and pay your bills and other adult things but it is one everyone has to go through.  And rather you are at this point in your life or younger and think life is stressful now under your parents' roof just you wait or older and have it figured out a little better than the rest of us; life does not go according to plan.  One can either have great emotional breakdowns everyday and not learn to deal with matters or attack situations (and have only the occasional breakdown).  Whatever happens remember that in any situation, this is only a moment and soon it will pass.  Someone once said "Everything will be alright in the end, and if it is not alright, it is not the end".  Bad things will happen but good ones will happen also.  It is up to you to decide on which to focus.

"If we wait until we are ready we will be waiting for the rest of our lives."  -Lemony Snicket 

What I Love

1. You know who you are 
2. Lovely words and inspiring quotes
3. Music <3
4. Texas 
5. Dancing
6. Those nights that seem like they will last for forever and you never want them to end 
7. Texas A&M University 
8. Sweet tea 
9. Homemade ice cream 
10. Butterflies!  (real ones, jewelry, clothes, and of course the ones in your stomach) Les papillions 
11. Thunderstorms 
12. Sunshine
13. The beach 
14. Stories, history, wonderful movies, and captivating novels 
15. Fireflies 
16. Looking at the stars 
17. French
18. Traveling and vacations 
19. Harry Potter and the Lord of the Rings 
20. Strawberries 
21. Bread 
22. Kind people 
23. Colorful pens, makers, and crayons
24. Candles 
25. Singing 
26. When the music playing in the background applies directly to your current situation 
27. Sweet notes, emails, and text messages
28. Lovely surprises
29. Chicken fried steak 
30. Bookstores 
31. Old pictures and scrapbooks 
32. Cowboy boots 
33. Riding horses through the country side 
34. Twilight (my favorite time of day) 
35. Analyzing literature 
36. Baking 
37. Sundays (church, lunch, lazy afternoons, the best day of the week) 
38. Laughing almost too hard to breathe
39. County Fair and Rodeo 
40. Texas Renaissance Festival 
41. French braids 
42. Cookie dough and cookies straight from the oven 
43. Chips and salsa 
44. Puppies and kitties and bunnies 
45. Hot chocolate (Chocolat chaud) 
46. Rainbows
47. Nail polish 
48. Earrings 
49. Bubble baths and hot tubs 
50. Hammocks (even though I always fall out) 
51. Mason jars 
52. Friendship bracelets 
53. Sparkling grape juice and fancy drinks 
54. New clothes that make you feel pretty 
55. Journals 
56. Bath and Body Works lotions, perfumes, soaps, etc. (and generally everything that makes a person smell nice) 
57. Realizing just how happy you are in this exact moment 
58. Country music
59. Parties 
60. Boat rides and fishing 
61. Blankets to snuggle in 
62. Snuggling (which is a much better word to use than cuddle) 
63. Kisses goodnight (but never goodbye) "I didn't want a to kiss you goodbye, that was the trouble; I wanted to kiss you goodnight. And there's a lot of difference." - Ernest Hemingway
64. Happy memories  
65. Fairy tales 
66. Big trucks 
67. Taking pictures 
68. Long phone calls 
69. Clean laundry warm from the dryer 
70. Finding money in your pocket you forgot you had 
71. Seeing God shine through people and nature
72. Encouraging Bible verses 
73. Praying 
74. Board games
75. Ultimate frisbee 
76. Football games
77. Heartfelt conversations
78. Two story houses with wrap-around porches
79. Rocking chairs and porch swings 
80. Trees 
81. Chocolate 
82. Museums 
83. Pinterest
84. Thanksgiving 
85. The feeling of being in love 
86. Crisp, clean sheets 
87. Simple dresses that are lovely 
88. The ride home 
89. Organization
90. Summer camp 
91. Pretty, curly hair
92. Contact lenses 
93. Blue jean shorts 
94. Sunglasses 
95. Fresh vegetables from the backyard garden 
96. Ceiling fans 
97. Coupons 
98. Big and warm jackets 
99. Bonfires (and of course s'mores) 
100. Country living 

What do you love? 

The Backseat

It is strange to think so much of our time as children aspiring and wishing to be in the front seat of every vehicle we have the privilege of riding in.  When we are finally old enough or big enough to start riding in the front seat consistently, we race our brothers, sisters, cousins, and friends to reach the coveted "shotgun"seat first.  Through high school and college and beyond this game goes on with confrontations and negotiations, with victories and defeats.
However, in my opinion sometimes the backseat is more fun.  No, I do not mean that in any dirty or negative way.  I simply mean the backseat is the place where, of course it is usually crowded, but it also the place to relax and stare out the window without having to be the driver, navigator, DJ, or anything.  There are no responsibilities for the backseat rider except for trying to keep your face out of the rear view mirror so the driver can see behind him or her.  In the backseat the rider can simply ride.  One can participate in the conversations one wishes to participate in or simply listen to music or read a book.
Beyond that,  the interactions and conversations or the backseat are more conversations.  There may be more people than there should and with that there is a certain bond.  There is the thrill of going to a new and exciting place with these friends or acquaintances in a car that is filled to the brim.  There is laughter and loud music to sing along to and phones to be passed back and forth.  There is wonder that is tangible in the air as the day/night begins.
In the same way there is the quiet peace of the ride home.  Probably the same people that came in the car will not be leaving in the car but maybe so.  The ride home is much calmer.  The music is just background noise now and each is in there own thoughts.  Of course on the first few minutes of the car ride may be conversation of tales and stories being recounted with such fervor but after all the events have been discussed everyone slips away to a quiet ponder to recover from such exhaustion.  These are the best moments of the back seat.  These are the moments when some may drift off to sleep on the shoulder of a friend rather old or brand new.  It is in these moments when a girl, who has strategically placed herself next to the boy who has given her butterflies from the journey's initial commencement or maybe even before then, has the opportunity to sit close and maybe lean her head against his shoulder in real (or fake) exhaustion.  It is these moments that can change the course of a night and spark a relationship even if the movement stops here, the dynamic has changed.  Or the situation may continue.  He puts his arm around her and she snuggles up next to him in a quiet and easy way.  He may whisper something to her and she turns to respond and there may be a kiss that causes an eruption of butterflies. It is the quiet moments like these on the car ride home that make the backseat an unforgettable space.
There are the loud and exuberant moments and there are the quiet and unforgettable moments that make the back seat the place for each person in their own way. So the next time you lose the competition do not be too dismayed.  If you have the privilege of sitting in the back seat and have a moment to pause and think, remember all of the memories you have from when someone else had control of the direction you were going. Remember all of the moments that have led you to this one.  For it is in these moments of relinquished control that we have space to think and feel and act in the bubble that is the car taking you away from the pressures of the outside.  It is here, in the back seat, you can experience butterflies and peace.